Week 10: Song of the Week (Replacement)

Since Sony snatched all traces of Lupe Fiasco and Alicia Keys' "Love Letter to the Beat" off of youtube I thought I should replace it with an equally good song. This song is brought to you by the duo from 9th Wonder's camp. Actual Proof may be the next great hip hop tag team. We will see enjoy this song and/video

ACTUAL PROOF - GENIUS from Pricefilms on Vimeo.

Heartbroken Heartbreaker

Well well well my luck with the opposite sex is just fantastic. (Pure sarcasm) If you noticed I deleted my "Share a story" post for a few reasons. First off it didn't serve its purpose so I got rid of it. And apparently another situation with a different lady (which she is nice btw) has went from completely understanding our dramatic end yesterday to her taking shots at me. hmmmmm maybe it was because of Tuesday post but whatever. She can hate me as long she lives happily.

But on the real I need to stop dealing with females, especially the emotionally inept ones. Smh! I can't understand why my luck is so bad. Maybe its the way I handle the situations. Maybe its my fault. I don't ever want to break anyone hearts because when I do my heart breaks too. It is what it is. Maybe I should stop falling for chicks who are distant from me, emotionally and/or physically. Im so frustrated from all this drama. Im really pissed off right now but Im trying to keep my composure. There's nothing like being dissed by a woman you care about, that shit is painful. It FUCKING suck!! I just wanna love someone. Ima hopeless romantic maybe. Im doing too much because when I try to love someone I just hurt them. Im a working progress.

And if any of the women from my past are reading this. I am sorry I failed to live up to the standards I set for myself. I know apologizing does not take the pain away, y'all may think Im an ass which I probably deserve. I just wish things could of been different. And I hope one day y'all can find true happiness, sincerely Jeff "The Asshole".

Music is Beautiful

When I was feeling really down today this video brought me up. Lupe helped me bounce back. And I thank him for speaking to me in my time in need. He says so much in one verse it's just amazing. Enjoy this video.

Beautiful Lasers - Lupe Fiasco (Snippet) Live from HD on Vimeo.

Week 10: Song of the Week

This weeks song is brought to you by Lupe Fiasco & Alicia Keys. This is a simply amazing song.

Been Slipping

Lately I have not been feeling myself. I have been going through so many damn emotions it is ridiculous. It was sort of over bearing when it came to college, people, and myself. I felt so much anger and sadness that it is so out of character for me. I don't know if Im just going through some phase or something but it has not been good.

I had so many questions internally that I needed to ask myself. Why have I hurt people I care about? Why does the girl I care about have so stubborn and won't talk to me? Why have I been settling for things? Why have I been acting on impulse instead thinking about it like normal? Why does my soul feel starved? What am I missing in my life? What am I lacking to make myself better? Why am I confused?

I've been feeling off my game for awhile now. Its like I was slipping back into my emo tendencies. That's why I haven't really blogged about anything, but I hope you have been enjoying my "lyrical vents" that I have been posting as of late. Im trying to get back to me. I need whatever I need immediately!

Lyrical Poem: "Stressed"

Im starting to think life's a hoe because damn it sucks
Im so stressed out and I haven't slept well in months
So much pressure to be someone else and I dont give a fuck
While you eating dessert Im dreaming about tomorrow's lunch
Actually Im thinking of everything I failed to excel in
Im tired of running this race Im wishing it'll all end
Because all who say they down are not my real friends
Its hard to see my world you'll need a special lens
But no one will take the time to understand
So I feel like Im living for nothing man
Im tired of college because I feel its scam
Its another mundane task that prevents who I am
And Im sick of finding girls that is only worth laying with
Why is it so hard to find a woman that is worthy of staying with
God why do you think its cool to treat my life like a keyboard and start playing it
Just give me my day of reckoning instead of saving it
I dont know maybe im just searching for a revelation
Something that I can admire because its amazing
Sometimes I wanna take a bullet to the head but Im to much of a bitch too
But God step in a gave me lyrics and said "Use these to get through
And when time is right you will finally smile for real
And your personal galaxy will finally become the ideal"
But its hard to deal with when people in the world are obnoxious
And all this ignorance and greed is so toxic
Im getting sick of it all I could literally vomit
I gotta hold it together as a personal promise
Cause at the end of the day we all suffer as human beings
It take a strong will to keep chasing one's dream
Im so fucking tired I don't know if I have anything left
At least it'll be easier since I got a little bit off my chest

Week 9: Song of the Week

Hey how's everyone do this beautiful day? Today Im feeling great and I think this week song should reflect my mood.

A Dose of Comedy

This is purely for entertainment and I felt like sharing....The Boondocks will return on May 2nd and I can NOT wait.

Lyrical Poem: "Reflection"

Can someone please tell me the value of a mother's tears
How much more we gotta give to have this mindless, violence disappears
Right here, in what we have called the greatest country for years
Until we grow as a people,
Its not hard to be in peace its just easier to be evil
Children who have barely lived are meeting the creator
And there's not much I can do so I keep the world in my prayers
Too many storm clouds there's no light from our savior
So we fall into the gifts given by the in-slavers
We do too much to show that we shining and we got money
Our pockets are rich but we poor in the mind, we are some dummies

Abandoning all love except for the love of the glamor
Drugs, gangs, money, and ignorance is my culture's cancer
The scientist says there's no cure, I think my words posses the answer
You are more than a gangster you're more than a dancer
You're more than a hoe you are better than a bitch
We're more than an embarrassment we amount to more than shit
We are all angels sent here on a mission
But the world makes us blinded to our intuition
The screams of a community, the blood from a youngster
Its been a half of century of this, haven't you begun to wonder
Why we try so hard to be on top but we end up being under
Our hearts provides the rain, our pain provides the thunder

Its human nature to always want something
But sadly we find out for years we've be chasing nothing
Now we feel stranded and damn we all alone
America works together as a people but yet people still have no homes
The country was proud to go out and help Haiti
But when it comes to the suffering ones here we've become lazy
We carry too many issues for our lives to intertwine
So we ignore the obvious because if its out of sight its out of mind
We just zombies walking with our spirits forever broken
Dying on the inside from words never spoken
Feeling defeated but we still hoping
Lets stand up instead of going with the motions
Lets better the world for the future generations
So the horrors we had do not need explanations
And feel the implications of our past failures
New history needs to be made, become one of the tailors

Random: In CH News......

Charles Hamilton at S.O.B's

Im Gonna be a Hero!!! (What for??)

Im realizing more and more with different people I encounter that one of my biggest flaws is my hero complex. I always have that ideology that I can help someone through talking to them or just hanging with them, you know be there in their moments or pain, sadness, and weakness. But sadly I have not gain much from being this nice or being this reliable I should say. No matter what we've been through if we had some type of good friendship I would help anyway I could. Lately I've been noticing that the things I do, do not matter to some people. No matter whatever we've gone through I seem to be unappreciated. I can't see why I still try to help people, male and female alike, when I don't get anything in return. Its not that I want a reward its just that I want confirmation that my friendship or my relationship with you means something to you or is every one of my deeds disposable. I want to stop but I can't. There are few who do appreciate the advice, the shoulder, the ears I offer to them when they need to get over an emotional & mental ordeal. It bothers me sometimes when I put so much work in for nothing. Maybe Im the one that needs saving......

Week 8: Song of the Week

This week's song is off of Bobby Ray's debut album The Adventures of Bobby Ray. Its a great track and I love that he has Hayley Williams on it, because I love Paramore too, its a great blend of music. Check it out.


B.o.B - Airplanes ft. Hayley Williams of Paramore [Explicit] by Atlantic Records

Lyrical Poem: "Just Emotions"

Have you ever dreamt of willingly walking into traffic
Or fearfully thought bout lying in your blood like a mattress
We get stretched in so many ways, man Im not elastic
That's why I wanna throw my hands up and say that's it
All this shit is madness, while I hurt you're laughing
I pretend to be but Im far from invincible
Sometimes I wish I could be invisible
And witness all the things I don't see
You want me to be one way sorry I wont be
Actually I can't be,
I was taught there is nothing better than being me
But being who I am has its draw backs
Yet having self doubt Im off that
Can you say that?
Or do you cry every time you lay back
Your past made you never forsake that
If you got off, dust yourself and get back on track
Because most of the world doesn't help but distract
So forgive me if I just seem detached

I don't do drugs because anime is crack
I know, wow Im lame, yea Im whack
The only one who ever gets me is my laptop when I type
Cause I tend to put my soul in everything I write
I can't say I love life
Hell I haven't known love in a long time
I try to create it but its always at the wrong time
Just a heartbroken loner that can't so I make the song cry
Sick of people with no sense of self, who you telling
Rap really sucks so does niggas, I guess I love rebellion
No longer letting another female affect my mood
Fuck em all, wait that's being rude
When in truth women will always mean a lot to me
Hmmm sounds like Im contradicting me

Oh well, I was sad when Vegas had to go back to her hometown
She was another "weirdo" but Im back on my own now
And I swear Mariah will always be a spark to our fire
I don't know what it is but that attraction will never retire
I haven't met my Alicia but I met this lovely Key
I wanna be good to her and she would be great for me
But no matter how I try to give it no one will have my heart
Because its completely chained down by my art
Every day I try to find the light out this dark
Unfortunately I know this aint my entire trial but only the start
However hard these waves are in this ocean
Ima ride it all out not regretting one moment
As long as I have my headphones I know where home is
I need to calm down because these are just emotions

Week 7: Song of the Week

This has to be this week song. This song is so powerful. It makes you think about the decisions we make in life and how that can affect us. Life is to valuable, we need to remember that!

*Go to the youtube page or www.whereischarleshamilton.com to get the story about this song*

Cole World Order

Now everyone who has visited my blog before knows the Charles Hamilton is my favorite artist right now BUT honestly this year is J Cole's year. Of course Im waiting on CH's official album hopefully he'll surprise us and drop it soon but as of right now J Cole is on the fast track to becoming big in sense of getting radio play. This dude presents his music in a way that's intelligent and yet anyone can get into it. From the raggedy people in the world who like Waka Flaka to people who genuinely love hip hop like me. J Cole is problem!

Late Night Freestyle

Sometimes I go on tangents on my twitter (@j1lyrical) and freestyle randomly while listening to music. Well these are one of those times. Enjoy *Warning: sexually suggestive lyrics*

Tell me what were you thinking when you first heard me speaking
Baby never mind I already know because your body started leaking
Pull off the covers and hop back top of you, no need for you to be leaving
Damn you so fine you can stay here for another evening
This is not casual sex where we both disconnect from the world
Actual its the opposite, when we connect your toes are guaranteed to curl
We've gone about 6 rounds, do you wanna go again?
Trust me Im tryna be way more than just a great story you tell your friends
Im the type of guy who would fuck you hard but touch you gently
Doing damage to your body but making love to you mentally
Go ahead and work hard like a kid doing choirs and watch it pay off
Ima make you feel like you never came before when I break it off
Baby take it off better yet let me do it.
You say I talk a lot of shit well tonight Ima prove it
Any hesitation like you clothes, remove it

I wanna take you around the world is your body ready for touring
Give it to you right in light of another beautiful morning
But its nothing like your beauty
Nothing else matter but you & me
I love doing you and I know you love doing me
You got me doing shit that's new to me
You said you were scared to let another nigga get close.
Well Im a man, you a woman, I won't treat you less but I'll give the most
Im more about love than about a fight.
And Im different so I wont hit you with lines like...
"Shawty throw that ass and let me hit like we in the homerun derby
And girl make sure u get on your knees and suck it up just like Kirby"
No worries them niggas are just simpletons
And me I hope you find me interesting

Tonight Ima drive you crazy, might as well fuck in a room with padded walls
Im not planning to give you a taste, girl you can have it all
From the head to the balls. When the session is ova all you'll be able to do is crawl You'll have no idea where you're at but you'll be happy lost
This is not to toy with your emotions
I know its not important but I got a big enough boat to handle your ocean
Lets create the perfect bedroom storm. This is passion fucking in its rarest form. What we do will not be seen in porn or even another home
I can replace that headaches with the waves my head makes
We both gotta go to work but fuck it we're gonna be late
Looking into each others eyes
All we want is to be forever trapped in this night
But its iight, tomorrow we can rewind & have your neighbors going out their minds