Lyrical Poem: "Just Emotions"

Have you ever dreamt of willingly walking into traffic
Or fearfully thought bout lying in your blood like a mattress
We get stretched in so many ways, man Im not elastic
That's why I wanna throw my hands up and say that's it
All this shit is madness, while I hurt you're laughing
I pretend to be but Im far from invincible
Sometimes I wish I could be invisible
And witness all the things I don't see
You want me to be one way sorry I wont be
Actually I can't be,
I was taught there is nothing better than being me
But being who I am has its draw backs
Yet having self doubt Im off that
Can you say that?
Or do you cry every time you lay back
Your past made you never forsake that
If you got off, dust yourself and get back on track
Because most of the world doesn't help but distract
So forgive me if I just seem detached

I don't do drugs because anime is crack
I know, wow Im lame, yea Im whack
The only one who ever gets me is my laptop when I type
Cause I tend to put my soul in everything I write
I can't say I love life
Hell I haven't known love in a long time
I try to create it but its always at the wrong time
Just a heartbroken loner that can't so I make the song cry
Sick of people with no sense of self, who you telling
Rap really sucks so does niggas, I guess I love rebellion
No longer letting another female affect my mood
Fuck em all, wait that's being rude
When in truth women will always mean a lot to me
Hmmm sounds like Im contradicting me

Oh well, I was sad when Vegas had to go back to her hometown
She was another "weirdo" but Im back on my own now
And I swear Mariah will always be a spark to our fire
I don't know what it is but that attraction will never retire
I haven't met my Alicia but I met this lovely Key
I wanna be good to her and she would be great for me
But no matter how I try to give it no one will have my heart
Because its completely chained down by my art
Every day I try to find the light out this dark
Unfortunately I know this aint my entire trial but only the start
However hard these waves are in this ocean
Ima ride it all out not regretting one moment
As long as I have my headphones I know where home is
I need to calm down because these are just emotions